Confessions of a Terrible Proofreader

I have a confession to me: I am miserable at proofreading my work. I always have been. It’s probably not going to stop.

It’s not because I don’t care about what I’ve written. Quite the reverse. Its root cause is laziness. Pure and simple laziness. Who wants to go back and read what they have just written? Since I’m so hard on myself, I’d just end up rewriting what I had already finished writing. Which means I’d accomplish nothing. Garbage would pile up. Laundry would never be washed. Stubble would never be shaved. Teeth will decay; I will stink.

When I do proofread, I don’t always catch errors. Not because I’m infallible (I’m not), or because there aren’t any errors (there are), but because I don’t always see my errors. It’s weird. The second I spot something grammatically obtuse, I’ll cry uncle. Improper semicolon use? A horror. Bad syntax? You may as well cut my eyeballs out and feed them to a dog.

But when it’s my own mistake, I miss it. I don’t know why.

Another confession: seldom do I know the “right” way to end an entry. An open-ended question? Humorous observation? Oh, wait… I know…

A sentence fragment.