Three Years Later

Every person in their life will arrive at a crossroads, and the direction they choose will ultimately prove a great success or spectacular failure. Three years ago I faced a crossroads. I had gone as far in my career as I thought possible, and I was hungry to take a risk and enter alien territory. So I took a leap of faith and gave up a familiar life for the instability of the unknown. That was three years ago today: February 13, 2009.

Enough time has lapsed from my first writing on the subject of what was a painful breakup that I can look at the complete picture with fresh eyes. I no longer feel shackled by the chains of despair or despondency. It’s like reading a sad story, then returning to it years later and not feeling overwrought with anything.

When you dive head-first into a question mark, one of two things will happen: either you’ll swim to safer waters, or you’ll drown. I drowned. Then I was brought back to life. Wasn’t there a religious parable about a man resurrected? In my sorrows I took refuge in the written word, and began writing. A lot. Most of it I tossed in the garbage. Just being able to transfer all of my anguish to paper was enough to unburden myself. I didn’t read any of it. I didn’t need to; therapy isn’t always about confrontation, it’s about letting out steam. I’m not a confrontational person. I’m a writer. I express feelings, thoughts and emotions through the written word. That’s my therapy. Doesn’t cost me anything.

Now that the darkness is behind me, it’s important to note that the dramatis personae in the saga which played out over the pursuing years are now shadows in my mind. They exist only in the fog of what once was. Their contributions are noted for the record, but their presence is no longer necessary, wanted or desired. Eventually their names and faces will melt into the flaccid realm of the mind where our recollections are misty.

So, what’s changed in three years? I’m three years older, three years wiser, three years stronger, three years better. And now I’m sitting on the cutting edge of a brand new chapter, one that excites me to no end. The best, as the saying goes, is yet to come.